With the number of days left in this country dwindling, I’ve begun to reflect on my time here, and the legacy I’ll leave behind.
What’s important to me is that I tried my hardest, and that I did all I could, with the resources in my possession, to make an impact here. I did, and I’m satisfied. But will that come through?
And how much does that matter to me?
One of the pills that I’ve had to swallow frequently is that I can’t possibly please everyone. Some days, it feels as if I can barely please anyone. Pleasing people isn’t my job though.
I’m in a unique situation compared to my fellow volunteers, as I’ve got two communities from which I’m already fairly removed (my Moroccan social life never did pick up again after I moved). As the final departure date draws near, however, I find my thoughts wandering back to will I leave on a good note?
Tomorrow marks the beginning of the end of my socializing, and I find myself wondering how to go about wrapping things up. I want to balance my good-byes with my personal reflection time (so as to keep my wits about me), but so far, that seems mildly to moderately impossible.
I do, however, take solace in the fact that everyone feels like this. Each and every volunteer that COSes (we use C.O.S. as a verb, meaning roughly “to get the hell outta dodge”) goes through what I’m experiencing, and everyone has their particular struggles when it comes to ending a two-year relationship with a… country.
Per the name of the post, I’m also finding solace in fancy cheese, which is now being sold at my local supermarket (called colloquially the Zwin Supermarche, or ‘beautiful supermarket’). For two years, my colleagues and I survived with two types of cheese: Laughing Cow, and a hard Spanish cheese that we call Red Ball.
(It comes packaged in the shape of a ball, encased in hard red wax. It’s really an apt title if you’ve seen it.)
When I returned from Rabat last week and made my first trip back to the supermarket, I nearly dropped my basket when I got to the dairy cooler and saw swiss, gouda, gouda with cumin seeds, bleu, mozzarella, parmesan and goat cheese next to the Red Ball.
Cheese in eggs, cheese on pasta, grilled cheese, cheese soup, cheese for lftor… the possibilities are too numerous to mention.
At least I know how the men at the Zwin Supermarche will remember me — as their most enthusiastic patron.